Why do I write here now and then? There's basically only one person I know of who reads this, so guess it's just for letting out steam. Which can be useful.
I'm in another art slump. Sucks like hell. There's a lot of stuff going on in my head right now, plus I'm busy like perkele with my studies. The teachers seem to take pleasure in bunching all the major assignments up in large clumps. I'm so behind it's embarrassing, and my goddamn mother is driving me insane with her talks about how I lack in study-morale. Everybody has bad phases, and I'm doing extra-curricular work by translating Korpiklaani texts! So, nu-uh mooom! (Yes, I'm 23.)
Some stuff is going forward, other is going backwards. I applied to become a tutor for the new students who will (hopefully) enroll after the summer, and I have completed the application process for the Finland-trip. My summer is set in stone: Finland->Wacken->spending a lot of time being a tutor, with or without newcomers (but it's paid, so that's awesome either way). On the 30th I have a concert that I'm looking forward to, and the day after I'm going on easter holiday to Norway. Gotta get me some of that fresh mountain air!
On the flip side, my head is messing with me. I've been so busy since the autumn that I haven't had time to stop and breathe, but now that the sun is coming out, I'm getting enough energy to get all philosophical about my life and the current state of it. I haven't drawn a lot for 2 weeks now, and I got so frustrated today in drawing class that I literally threw down my pencil and walked early. Yep, I started taking classes again. The teacher is a super hardcore french guy, and it's all math-no-art. I have learned a lot about proportion-measuring though, and I've gotten better at viewing my art. Guess that might be a contributing factor to my declining productivity. And I've gotten a free pass to the best sculpture and art collection in Denmark for the entire spring, because we study in their sculpture collection. That would be something, if I just had the energy to swing by now and then, and just enjoy the world class art for it's own sake. They have an amazing collection of french paintings too...
I really need to sort out my head. I'm getting sick of it, and when I'm not doing homework, I'm just staring at blank pages or procrastinating. I guess the core problem is, that I looked in the mirror one morning, and realized that I don't recognize myself anymore. I've been so deep inside my mind for so long now, drawing, learning a new language, adjusting to student life, that I haven't looked myself in the eye for quite some time. My inner image of myself has been misaligning a lot with who I am and act like on the outside. I guess it might just be time, age, all that jazz. I am not who I was when I was 20 anymore, that's for sure, and that's natural, but it's not just that. It's... something else. Or it might be. I just don't see myself anymore, when I look in the mirror. And the bad thing is, that this isn't just a recent thing. I just sort of didn't realize it for real before now.
Also, Humon faved my drawing of Finland!
I'm a little proud. No, very.